As we all know at this point, one of the big end-game goals of the Growing Up After 30 initiative is the goal of shifting from a McJob, into a career I really care about. In my particular case a career in the IT industry. I started my trek by studying for, and passing, the CompTIA 220-801 and 220-802 for my A+ certification. The theory being that a degree in computer science (like a lot of bachelor's degrees) is highly over-rated. I figured that a few certifications, a little experience, and some good professional connections would be just as useful, if not more so.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Spring Re-Cap
For obvious reasons, this blog went off to the wayside for quite a while.
Most of last winter, frankly, sucked. Loss, emotional upheaval, and generally, life. However, despite my well laid plans going awry along with the best of them, life moves on. My life in particular, has moved on at a heck of a clip through the end of last Winter and Spring.
In honor of all that life going on, I thought it seemed like a good time for a Spring re-cap as we approach the official start of Summer. (June 21st this year if anyone cares)
Once the new year rolled around, in the wake of our loss, my wife and I redoubled our efforts in searching for a new home, and in fact, as I type this, I'm sitting in our new home. As it would happen, I'm sitting in an actual office while my wife watches a movie in the living room. (She may or may not be watching Wreck-It Ralph, and I may or may not pause for 90 minutes to go watch it with her. I admit nothing)
A lot of folks will tell you that you shouldn't make big life decisions while grieving. The standard line being something along the lines of not having a clear head while overwhelmed by emotions and so on. To be honest, I can't argue. There were moments along the way when I hesitated, wondering if we were rushing, buying at the wrong time, or just buying the wrong house. As it turned out, we ended up in a home we're very happy with, for which we paid a good deal less than the appraisal, and well within what we can afford.
The home buying process is more than a little nightmarish for the uninitiated. I'm told, by every person I know who has ever bought a house, that our purchase process went quite fast. 31 days from our initial offer to keys in our hand. All I can say to those people is, "thank God, because I'd have lost my mind if it took 6 months."
If I could give you one piece of advice before you begin the home buying process it would be this: buy a decent quality scanner, and make sure that both you and your spouse know how to print, sign, scan and email back. One of my coworkers bought a house recently, and instead of scanning and emailing, she and her fiance ran back and forth across town every time the mortgage broker needed another piece of paper, which happens more often that most people use the toilet.
In short, buying a home is an awful lot of work. Granted, we can watch a movie, listen to music, work, exercise, and generally enjoy our lives without having downstairs neighbors pound on their ceiling because we made half as much noise at they make every Friday night. No more pot smoke wafting up from the next balcony down, no more incessant road-noise.
Most importantly, space. Blessed, wonderful, we're terribly grateful for it space. We have a modestly sized home on a very small lot, but it's so much more space than either of use has had in years that it feels like being freed. We've actually had a dinner party with two other couples. In our old apartment, if we'd wanted to have 4 adult guests, plus their kids, join us for dinner we would have had to set up a table in the apartment building's parking lot.
Of course, I also have a sunburn at the moment because... well...
...because I'm bald....
...but also because while buying a house is a lot of work, it's nothing compare to owning one. Today I mowed, edged, repaired a broken sprinkler line, replaced a hose-bib (which I may or may not have been the one to break in the first place), fertilized the lawn, pulled weeds, sprayed other weeds, attempted (with a success rate of 1:4) to repair some LED garden lights, and unearthed half of a flagstone patio that the previous owners had allowed to be swallowed by dirt and ground cover.
All of which is wonderful.
Seriously. It's pretty great.
Despite appearances to the contrary, such as my love of computers and the size of my pants, I'm really not an indoor kid. Spending an hour pulling up weeds or mowing the lawn is just about heaven for me.
I know a few folks who resent every minute they spend working on their homes. One coworker in particular comes to mind, and it's no coincidence that in the same conversation in which he tried to tell me that buying a house was the biggest mistake of his life, he also told me how awesome Grand Theft Auto 4 (4?, 5?, 27?, who can keep track?) Honestly, people, you don't need any video game that has, "hooker mode," as a feature. I can admit that I occasionally spend a little time now and then playing video games, but you can rest assured that none of the video games I play provide you with the option of hiring a hooker, and then give you the choice of either paying said hooker, or dragging her out of the back of your stolen car and beating her with a bat. Congratulations to Rock Star Games, for lowering the lowest common denominator of modern society by making a popular video game franchise that revolves around committing crime, and has the option of creating a character who is a modern day jack the ripper.
Anyway, enough of that rant for this week...
One of the big pieces of the puzzle for anyone who is trying to Grow Up™, is of course, their career. Only days after one of the most heartbreaking events in either of our lives, my amazing wife started a new job working for the Department of Human Services. It's not an amazing, fun-filled, challenging, ideal career sort of job, but it's a foot in the door of a place where she can eventually do fulfilling work that matters. It was a small, but very worthwhile, step back in terms of pay, placing her on a much better path. Now that she's there, there are an awful lot of very promising doors waiting to be opened.
That brings me to last piece to address in my spring re-cap: my ongoing quest to find myself in a better career. Sadly, the only success I can claim is that nothing in my working life is any worse than it was 5 months ago. Amazingly, when you stack up multiple major life events, it can be a little tough to find the necessary motivation to make the big changes for a little while.
Of course, I've got plenty of motivation at the moment.
First, I've hit the salary cap for my position. It's one of the down-sides of being hired well above the usual starting pay for a position; you're that much closer to the salary cap. So, instead of annual raises, I get a tiny token-bonus each year. Yay me. Of course, I've had some excellent nudges.
I've been working on a project at work which is so far above my pay grade, that it truly is a joke. My Assistant Manager wanted a tool for tracking a variety of pieces of information about our group sales for the hotel. Not a terribly complex sort of job if you have the right tools, so I told my Assistant Manager that I really needed MS Access to get the job done, and she passed it along to IT. To make a long story short (too late, I know), the IT manager refused, because it wasn't a necessary tool for me to get my job done.
You see, there's something in the IT industry called the "principle of least access." The concept is pretty simple, and on paper, it makes a lot of sense. The basic idea is that you give each employee the very least amount of access that will allow them to get their job done. For example, if you have an employee who doesn't need any more internet access than the ability to communicate with your credit card processing company at a specific address over a specific port, then you can lock out the entire internet except for that one connection, and more or less eliminate the risk of getting a virus from the web.
The trouble with that principle however, is that once a company gets over a certain size, usually when you start having people working in IT with terms like "Manager" or "Director" in their title, there's a good chance that the person making the decision about what exactly is the "least access" that will allow you to do your job, generally has no clue what you really need.
If you find yourself in a position like I'm in, where I'm overpaid for my official title because the position I'd really fit doesn't exist, you can get yourself into a place where the person deciding what you can and can't have access to, not only fails to understand what your official job really needs, but totally fails to understand what you need in the real world.
So, having been refused access to Access, I wrote a program in Excel VBA (yes, that is actually possible. Bizarre, and in no way the most efficient way to do things, but possible). It uses VBA userforms and scripting to completely hide any and all traces of excel, and uses a separate workbook, with all the data hidden of course, as a database. Granted, a remotely competent user could have created the same functionality in MS Access in a fraction of the time, but there it is.
On showing my first serious draft of this 'program' to my supervisor, she commented that it was ridiculous that I still worked there, because I'm way too smart for that job, even for what they're paying me.
When your boss tells you that you're under-employed, that's pretty much game-over.
Most of last winter, frankly, sucked. Loss, emotional upheaval, and generally, life. However, despite my well laid plans going awry along with the best of them, life moves on. My life in particular, has moved on at a heck of a clip through the end of last Winter and Spring.
In honor of all that life going on, I thought it seemed like a good time for a Spring re-cap as we approach the official start of Summer. (June 21st this year if anyone cares)
Once the new year rolled around, in the wake of our loss, my wife and I redoubled our efforts in searching for a new home, and in fact, as I type this, I'm sitting in our new home. As it would happen, I'm sitting in an actual office while my wife watches a movie in the living room. (She may or may not be watching Wreck-It Ralph, and I may or may not pause for 90 minutes to go watch it with her. I admit nothing)
A lot of folks will tell you that you shouldn't make big life decisions while grieving. The standard line being something along the lines of not having a clear head while overwhelmed by emotions and so on. To be honest, I can't argue. There were moments along the way when I hesitated, wondering if we were rushing, buying at the wrong time, or just buying the wrong house. As it turned out, we ended up in a home we're very happy with, for which we paid a good deal less than the appraisal, and well within what we can afford.
The home buying process is more than a little nightmarish for the uninitiated. I'm told, by every person I know who has ever bought a house, that our purchase process went quite fast. 31 days from our initial offer to keys in our hand. All I can say to those people is, "thank God, because I'd have lost my mind if it took 6 months."
If I could give you one piece of advice before you begin the home buying process it would be this: buy a decent quality scanner, and make sure that both you and your spouse know how to print, sign, scan and email back. One of my coworkers bought a house recently, and instead of scanning and emailing, she and her fiance ran back and forth across town every time the mortgage broker needed another piece of paper, which happens more often that most people use the toilet.
In short, buying a home is an awful lot of work. Granted, we can watch a movie, listen to music, work, exercise, and generally enjoy our lives without having downstairs neighbors pound on their ceiling because we made half as much noise at they make every Friday night. No more pot smoke wafting up from the next balcony down, no more incessant road-noise.
Most importantly, space. Blessed, wonderful, we're terribly grateful for it space. We have a modestly sized home on a very small lot, but it's so much more space than either of use has had in years that it feels like being freed. We've actually had a dinner party with two other couples. In our old apartment, if we'd wanted to have 4 adult guests, plus their kids, join us for dinner we would have had to set up a table in the apartment building's parking lot.
Of course, I also have a sunburn at the moment because... well...
...because I'm bald....
...but also because while buying a house is a lot of work, it's nothing compare to owning one. Today I mowed, edged, repaired a broken sprinkler line, replaced a hose-bib (which I may or may not have been the one to break in the first place), fertilized the lawn, pulled weeds, sprayed other weeds, attempted (with a success rate of 1:4) to repair some LED garden lights, and unearthed half of a flagstone patio that the previous owners had allowed to be swallowed by dirt and ground cover.
All of which is wonderful.
Seriously. It's pretty great.
Despite appearances to the contrary, such as my love of computers and the size of my pants, I'm really not an indoor kid. Spending an hour pulling up weeds or mowing the lawn is just about heaven for me.
I know a few folks who resent every minute they spend working on their homes. One coworker in particular comes to mind, and it's no coincidence that in the same conversation in which he tried to tell me that buying a house was the biggest mistake of his life, he also told me how awesome Grand Theft Auto 4 (4?, 5?, 27?, who can keep track?) Honestly, people, you don't need any video game that has, "hooker mode," as a feature. I can admit that I occasionally spend a little time now and then playing video games, but you can rest assured that none of the video games I play provide you with the option of hiring a hooker, and then give you the choice of either paying said hooker, or dragging her out of the back of your stolen car and beating her with a bat. Congratulations to Rock Star Games, for lowering the lowest common denominator of modern society by making a popular video game franchise that revolves around committing crime, and has the option of creating a character who is a modern day jack the ripper.
Anyway, enough of that rant for this week...
One of the big pieces of the puzzle for anyone who is trying to Grow Up™, is of course, their career. Only days after one of the most heartbreaking events in either of our lives, my amazing wife started a new job working for the Department of Human Services. It's not an amazing, fun-filled, challenging, ideal career sort of job, but it's a foot in the door of a place where she can eventually do fulfilling work that matters. It was a small, but very worthwhile, step back in terms of pay, placing her on a much better path. Now that she's there, there are an awful lot of very promising doors waiting to be opened.
That brings me to last piece to address in my spring re-cap: my ongoing quest to find myself in a better career. Sadly, the only success I can claim is that nothing in my working life is any worse than it was 5 months ago. Amazingly, when you stack up multiple major life events, it can be a little tough to find the necessary motivation to make the big changes for a little while.
Of course, I've got plenty of motivation at the moment.
First, I've hit the salary cap for my position. It's one of the down-sides of being hired well above the usual starting pay for a position; you're that much closer to the salary cap. So, instead of annual raises, I get a tiny token-bonus each year. Yay me. Of course, I've had some excellent nudges.
I've been working on a project at work which is so far above my pay grade, that it truly is a joke. My Assistant Manager wanted a tool for tracking a variety of pieces of information about our group sales for the hotel. Not a terribly complex sort of job if you have the right tools, so I told my Assistant Manager that I really needed MS Access to get the job done, and she passed it along to IT. To make a long story short (too late, I know), the IT manager refused, because it wasn't a necessary tool for me to get my job done.
You see, there's something in the IT industry called the "principle of least access." The concept is pretty simple, and on paper, it makes a lot of sense. The basic idea is that you give each employee the very least amount of access that will allow them to get their job done. For example, if you have an employee who doesn't need any more internet access than the ability to communicate with your credit card processing company at a specific address over a specific port, then you can lock out the entire internet except for that one connection, and more or less eliminate the risk of getting a virus from the web.
The trouble with that principle however, is that once a company gets over a certain size, usually when you start having people working in IT with terms like "Manager" or "Director" in their title, there's a good chance that the person making the decision about what exactly is the "least access" that will allow you to do your job, generally has no clue what you really need.
If you find yourself in a position like I'm in, where I'm overpaid for my official title because the position I'd really fit doesn't exist, you can get yourself into a place where the person deciding what you can and can't have access to, not only fails to understand what your official job really needs, but totally fails to understand what you need in the real world.
So, having been refused access to Access, I wrote a program in Excel VBA (yes, that is actually possible. Bizarre, and in no way the most efficient way to do things, but possible). It uses VBA userforms and scripting to completely hide any and all traces of excel, and uses a separate workbook, with all the data hidden of course, as a database. Granted, a remotely competent user could have created the same functionality in MS Access in a fraction of the time, but there it is.
On showing my first serious draft of this 'program' to my supervisor, she commented that it was ridiculous that I still worked there, because I'm way too smart for that job, even for what they're paying me.
When your boss tells you that you're under-employed, that's pretty much game-over.
Monday, January 27, 2014
1 in 5 should not be taboo.
For my readers who are friends or family, you're likely already aware of why my big push forward with the Growing Up After 30 blog fizzled after Christmas, but those who only know me by my blog couldn't be aware. Shortly before Christmas, I announced that my wife and I were expecting our first child, and I'm sad to say that in the early morning hours of New Year's Eve, at 3 months along, we lost the baby.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
The real Santa
Most folks who know me, know that if you catch me in the right mood, I can tell quite the story. Today, I'd like to tell one of my very favorite stories.
Favorite, and true.
This is the story of the time I got to meet the real Santa Claus.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Spawn of blogger
The best piece of news I've had all year, is also one that I haven't shared here on my blog. Despite the wonders of our beloved pseudonymous internet, there's some things you don't want to share online until your friends and family know about it.
One of those is when your wife is pregnant.
One of those is when your wife is pregnant.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
The high cost of living (in a house)
This week's life improvement project has been working with a mortgage broker to get a pre-approval letter so we can start house hunting in earnest. We've finished the initial application process, and we're waiting for the great and powerful Underwriters to send word to us through the kind and benevolent Mortgage Broker.
It's been a fascinating experience, and I've learned a huge amount about the process. For instance, I always thought that the biggest obstacle to home ownership was down-payment funds, or possibly your credit score. It turns out that I was wrong entirely.
It's been a fascinating experience, and I've learned a huge amount about the process. For instance, I always thought that the biggest obstacle to home ownership was down-payment funds, or possibly your credit score. It turns out that I was wrong entirely.
Monday, December 2, 2013
A week of successes
Welcome, friends and neighbors, to the Correct Direction™.
I mentioned last week that I was on my way to take my CompTIA 220-802 exam, which was the second and final exam required for my CompTIA A+ certification. First, I'm happy to report to anyone who doesn't know, that I passed with a score of 95.5%, and I am now a CompTIA A+ Certified Professional.
By itself, the CompTIA A+ certification is not terribly useful. Well, it's useful, but it's not a free ride. It shows perspective employers that I have a basic level of competence, which will help to get my foot in the door, but that's about it. Most will still expect some verifiable experience. For now, I plan on enjoying the holidays, and digging into our next big goal, which is getting out of this apartment. (more on that in a minute) I'll also be taking a look at the CompTIA Network+ certification, but that one may be a more realistic goal with a bit more working experience.
In any event, come first of the year, I plan on making the rounds to local churches and other non-profits that may not have a lot of budget for IT support, and offering up my services free of charge, asking that they provide a letter of reference if they felt I was helpful and deserving of their recommendation. It's a nice way to get something that looks like experience, while also helping the community. That's two very good things.
Now, I mentioned that our next goal was getting out of this apartment. My wife and I have been saving, and have just about enough saved up for a down payment. Not a 20% down, no PMI, 'ideal' down payment, but at least enough to get into a starter house. As a matter of fact, I spent some time talking to a mortgage broker today, so with any luck, we'll be in our first home within just a couple of months. The scary part is the mind bending number of options. There's FHA, conventional, USDA (if we want to move out of town), we can use the small amount we have for a down payment or we can pull out some 401k money (I know, Dave Ramsey would throttle me for considering it) and give us a much larger down payment, which means a better loan and lower monthly payment, but the risk of terrible tax penalties.
None the less, I now have a widely respected entry level IT certification, our finances are well under control, and we're rapidly approaching home-ownership. I've even trimmed off a few strips of bacon this week. That's all kinds of win.
Sadly, buying our own home will mean saying goodbye to some things. I'd like you to join me, as you read this week's blog post, in a moment of silence for all the things we'll be missing once we've moved to a house of our own, such as:
As I look at that list, I can't help noticing a pattern to the things I hate about this place. Sometimes, a USDA loan on a house in the country suddenly starts looking like a better option.
I mentioned last week that I was on my way to take my CompTIA 220-802 exam, which was the second and final exam required for my CompTIA A+ certification. First, I'm happy to report to anyone who doesn't know, that I passed with a score of 95.5%, and I am now a CompTIA A+ Certified Professional.
By itself, the CompTIA A+ certification is not terribly useful. Well, it's useful, but it's not a free ride. It shows perspective employers that I have a basic level of competence, which will help to get my foot in the door, but that's about it. Most will still expect some verifiable experience. For now, I plan on enjoying the holidays, and digging into our next big goal, which is getting out of this apartment. (more on that in a minute) I'll also be taking a look at the CompTIA Network+ certification, but that one may be a more realistic goal with a bit more working experience.
In any event, come first of the year, I plan on making the rounds to local churches and other non-profits that may not have a lot of budget for IT support, and offering up my services free of charge, asking that they provide a letter of reference if they felt I was helpful and deserving of their recommendation. It's a nice way to get something that looks like experience, while also helping the community. That's two very good things.
Now, I mentioned that our next goal was getting out of this apartment. My wife and I have been saving, and have just about enough saved up for a down payment. Not a 20% down, no PMI, 'ideal' down payment, but at least enough to get into a starter house. As a matter of fact, I spent some time talking to a mortgage broker today, so with any luck, we'll be in our first home within just a couple of months. The scary part is the mind bending number of options. There's FHA, conventional, USDA (if we want to move out of town), we can use the small amount we have for a down payment or we can pull out some 401k money (I know, Dave Ramsey would throttle me for considering it) and give us a much larger down payment, which means a better loan and lower monthly payment, but the risk of terrible tax penalties.
None the less, I now have a widely respected entry level IT certification, our finances are well under control, and we're rapidly approaching home-ownership. I've even trimmed off a few strips of bacon this week. That's all kinds of win.
Sadly, buying our own home will mean saying goodbye to some things. I'd like you to join me, as you read this week's blog post, in a moment of silence for all the things we'll be missing once we've moved to a house of our own, such as:
- Neighbors smoking pot under our balcony
- Neighbors playing their music at 1:00am, so loud that it shakes the floor of our apartment
- Neighbors having screaming matches when they walk in on their cheating girlfriend with another guy. (admittedly, that one really was kind of entertaining)
- Neighbors walking out into the parking lot wearing boxer shorts and carrying a shotgun to menace other neighbors who won't stop their screaming match in the parking lot at 2:00am
- Neighbors getting into a 'who can bang on the walls harder' match with each other because I walked too quickly and they were able to hear the footsteps
- Neighbors underneath us
- Neighbors we share walls with
- A prime view of the busiest and loudest street in town
*begin moment of silence*
*pick nose*
*inspect findings*
*end moment of silence*
Yeah... ...that's long enough.
As I look at that list, I can't help noticing a pattern to the things I hate about this place. Sometimes, a USDA loan on a house in the country suddenly starts looking like a better option.
Monday, November 25, 2013
You are what you eat.
We all have moments when our mouths run just a little bit ahead of our brains. This week, I was on the receiving end of just such a moment.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Customer Service training, and other useless things.
*Small apologies on this post. I could have sworn I hit publish before I logged out yesterday. Looks like I was mistaken.
Before I dive into this week's entry, allow me to bring everybody more or less back up to speed. First and foremost, for anyone who doesn't already know, I passed my CompTIA 220-801 with flying colors on my first attempt, and I'm currently studying for the 220-802, which I plan to take within the next couple of weeks. Once that's complete, I will have completed the CompTIA A+ certification, and will be one step closer to a meaningful career.
Between the test, an early Thanksgiving with the in-laws, studying, and some other really good stuff on the home front, I've missed a few blog entries, but I should be back on track for a little while now. I've got enough material to last for several more weeks, and by then I should be done with phase one (doesn't it sound more exciting when I say "phase one" than just "step one?") and have an awful lot of other things to talk about as well.
In the meantime, I thought I'd take a break from my regularly scheduled studies to talk about Customer Service, and Customer Service Training. I know that seems like a boring topic, and it is, but I promise to make it fun. Well, that was a bald faced lie*, but I do promise to make it more fun than the last customer service training video I had to watch.
Before I dive into this week's entry, allow me to bring everybody more or less back up to speed. First and foremost, for anyone who doesn't already know, I passed my CompTIA 220-801 with flying colors on my first attempt, and I'm currently studying for the 220-802, which I plan to take within the next couple of weeks. Once that's complete, I will have completed the CompTIA A+ certification, and will be one step closer to a meaningful career.
Between the test, an early Thanksgiving with the in-laws, studying, and some other really good stuff on the home front, I've missed a few blog entries, but I should be back on track for a little while now. I've got enough material to last for several more weeks, and by then I should be done with phase one (doesn't it sound more exciting when I say "phase one" than just "step one?") and have an awful lot of other things to talk about as well.
In the meantime, I thought I'd take a break from my regularly scheduled studies to talk about Customer Service, and Customer Service Training. I know that seems like a boring topic, and it is, but I promise to make it fun. Well, that was a bald faced lie*, but I do promise to make it more fun than the last customer service training video I had to watch.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Staying on topic
One of the primary things I started this blog to chronicle was my attempt at getting some IT certifications, starting with the CompTIA A+, and shifting my career away from a dead end job at a casino/hotel, and into somewhere that I can feel like I do something useful.
I mentioned in my last post that I was only about 10 days away from taking my first certification exam, but my schedule at my lovely dead end job got in the way, so I pushed my test appointment back one more week. It seemed like a bad idea to work 6 days straight, have only 1 day off, and then take the test in the morning before work.
I mentioned in my last post that I was only about 10 days away from taking my first certification exam, but my schedule at my lovely dead end job got in the way, so I pushed my test appointment back one more week. It seemed like a bad idea to work 6 days straight, have only 1 day off, and then take the test in the morning before work.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Science fiction is not about science or fiction
As of now, I am scheduled for my 220-801 exam in about 10 days, which is the first of two tests for my first IT certification. So, since I'm in a holding pattern for the next week and a half, I thought I'd take this week's entry to talk about one of my favorite things; good science fiction.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Things you can buy for $183.
I spent some time this evening taking practice tests for my first A+ certification exam, and I think it's time to schedule the first of two exams. The exam vouchers run $183, and like most things in life, there's no guarantee. I'm feeling pretty confident, but there's always the possibility that I've miss-judged, in which case I'm out $183.
In honor of the $183 I'll be parting with soon, I thought today would be a great day to look at a few of the other things a guy could get for $183.
(Side note to all friends and family members: This is not a birthday/Christmas list)
In honor of the $183 I'll be parting with soon, I thought today would be a great day to look at a few of the other things a guy could get for $183.
(Side note to all friends and family members: This is not a birthday/Christmas list)
- A new video card.
- A box of 10 Don Carlos Robusto cigars
- 75 cups of espresso
- Dinner for 25 at Burger King
- An iPod nano, and still have $33 left to try and replace my soul
- Another tattoo, but not much left over to tip the artist
- The world's worst toupee
- Two $50 lap dances, plus $83 for pillows and blankets to make the couch I'd be sleeping on into a tollerably comfortable bed
- A short lived and pointless shopping spree to thinkgeek, Sharper Image, Brookstone, or Hammacher Schlemmer
- Dinner for 10 at a decent Chinese restaurant including a good tip
- 10-20 Sea-Monkey kits; also known as "enough brine shrimp muscle to take over the world"
- Of course, if I wanted to take over the world, why go with Sea-Monkeys when you can buy Uranium on Amazon?
- Speaking of Amazon, I could pick up a couple of these bad boys and never have to worry about a Cartman-style probe again. One for home, one for the car, and I'd always know when one of those sneaky aliens was near by
- A speeding ticket
- Dinner for 3 at the most expensive restaurant I've ever eaten at
- I could walk past my wife's car. Seriously folks, just walking past it. That car either loves me and wants me to be close to it all the time, or it hates me and wants to watch me suffer up close. There is no third option here
There you have it folks, exam 1 of 2 for the Comptia A+ certification, or enough brine shrimp and uranium to create my own radioactive mutant brine shrimp army.
Forget about certifications, Pinky. Tonight, we try to take over the world!
Monday, September 30, 2013
I can tie my shoes, too!
So, I've been on this whole Growing Up™ kick for a while now, but I think I have to admit that no matter how hard we try, there is going to be the occasional slip. Those little moments when your inner 12 year old comes out. That happened to me recently when a coworker who is quite a bit my junior decided to explain some things to me. Things like, the definition of the word "aisle."
Monday, September 16, 2013
Dissatisfaction is not an excuse.
I mentioned last week that I had experienced some of the worst customer service I have ever encounter at the Service Center at Capitol Toyota in Salem, Oregon. As promised, I'll tell you a little more about that this week, and share some of my thoughts on the importance of maintaining a strong work ethic.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
Real life gets in the way sometimes.
Over the years, I've developed a few phrases and quirks. Things that I'll say, for lack of a better term, as catch phrases. It's cheesy, I know, but it's not something I've ever done deliberately. They just pop into my head, and then pop out of my mouth. Think of it as cliché turrettes. Some of them I've ripped off from books or movies, some I came up with on my own, and quite a few others, I couldn't honestly tell you where, when, or how they came about.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Taking tech for granted.
As we grow up, we also grow older, and the strangest thing tends to happen; we begin to take for granted that which we would have seen as miraculous only a short time ago.
When was the last time you complained about your cell phone? Complained about your DSL connection? Your laptop? We take these things for granted every day, but the reality is that they would have seemed fantastic and unimaginable in our childhoods. For most of us who are 30 and up, it's highly unlikely that you had a computer in your home when you were a small child, but today there are 6 year old kids running around with iPhones.
The first computer we had in my household was purchased at Sears, the day after Thanksgiving in 1986 or '87 when I was 6 or 7 years old. It came with a 33mhz CPU and my dad paid quite a bit extra to upgrade it to 1MB of RAM, and insisted on a 40MB hard disk drive which the salesmen tried to discourage him from by saying, and I quote, "trust me. It's not worth the money. You couldn't fill a 40MB hard drive in a million years."
Today, I carry a cell phone in my pocket that has a processor which cycles 57 times as fast (never mind improvements in efficiency and the fact that it's a quad-core). It has 2,000 times as much RAM, and more than 400 times as much storage. Even the screen, which is small enough to fit comfortably in my pocket, has nearly 7 times as many pixels.
Even if we ignore the fact that it's a massively more powerful computer than what was available just a couple decades ago and we ignore the fact that it costs roughly 1/10 of what that old Packard Bell desktop cost my dad, we still have to admit that it puts the original Star Trek communicator to shame.
Voice, text, data and multi-media in something ¼" thick and roughly the outline of a dollar bill. It'll even do GPS navigation, connect to my car stereo, and connect to my car's on-board computer for diagnostics. It keeps track of how long I've been jogging, and calculates how many calories I've burned. You can even connect them to some bathroom scales so that it can monitor your weight, body fat, hydration levels, and countless other aspects of your physical health.
It's a communicator AND a tri-corder.
In the 47 years since the debut of Star Trek; secure, pocket-sized and crystal clear 2 way communicators have gone from science fiction to something we complain about if we have to reset them once a week. Just imagine the technology that our children and grandchildren will take for granted.
It's staggering to imagine that 30 years ago, a portable phone was the size of a briefcase and incredibly rare. 50 years ago it was pure science fiction.
90 years ago, people routinely died from every day bacterial infections that we can now cure with a single shot.
A brief 600 years ago, Johannes Gutenberg was a teenager, and still almost 30 years from inventing the printing press.
Of course, above and beyond all that, the next time you take your high speed internet or your cell phone for granted; before your complain about or malign the marvelous technology that helps our world run so smoothly in this very young millennium; consider this quote by Cory Doctoro, my favorite novelist who has yet to write a great novel:
"Ten thousand years ago, the state-of-the-art was a goat."-
When was the last time you complained about your cell phone? Complained about your DSL connection? Your laptop? We take these things for granted every day, but the reality is that they would have seemed fantastic and unimaginable in our childhoods. For most of us who are 30 and up, it's highly unlikely that you had a computer in your home when you were a small child, but today there are 6 year old kids running around with iPhones.
The first computer we had in my household was purchased at Sears, the day after Thanksgiving in 1986 or '87 when I was 6 or 7 years old. It came with a 33mhz CPU and my dad paid quite a bit extra to upgrade it to 1MB of RAM, and insisted on a 40MB hard disk drive which the salesmen tried to discourage him from by saying, and I quote, "trust me. It's not worth the money. You couldn't fill a 40MB hard drive in a million years."
Today, I carry a cell phone in my pocket that has a processor which cycles 57 times as fast (never mind improvements in efficiency and the fact that it's a quad-core). It has 2,000 times as much RAM, and more than 400 times as much storage. Even the screen, which is small enough to fit comfortably in my pocket, has nearly 7 times as many pixels.
Even if we ignore the fact that it's a massively more powerful computer than what was available just a couple decades ago and we ignore the fact that it costs roughly 1/10 of what that old Packard Bell desktop cost my dad, we still have to admit that it puts the original Star Trek communicator to shame.
Voice, text, data and multi-media in something ¼" thick and roughly the outline of a dollar bill. It'll even do GPS navigation, connect to my car stereo, and connect to my car's on-board computer for diagnostics. It keeps track of how long I've been jogging, and calculates how many calories I've burned. You can even connect them to some bathroom scales so that it can monitor your weight, body fat, hydration levels, and countless other aspects of your physical health.
It's a communicator AND a tri-corder.
In the 47 years since the debut of Star Trek; secure, pocket-sized and crystal clear 2 way communicators have gone from science fiction to something we complain about if we have to reset them once a week. Just imagine the technology that our children and grandchildren will take for granted.
It's staggering to imagine that 30 years ago, a portable phone was the size of a briefcase and incredibly rare. 50 years ago it was pure science fiction.
90 years ago, people routinely died from every day bacterial infections that we can now cure with a single shot.
A brief 600 years ago, Johannes Gutenberg was a teenager, and still almost 30 years from inventing the printing press.
Of course, above and beyond all that, the next time you take your high speed internet or your cell phone for granted; before your complain about or malign the marvelous technology that helps our world run so smoothly in this very young millennium; consider this quote by Cory Doctoro, my favorite novelist who has yet to write a great novel:
"Ten thousand years ago, the state-of-the-art was a goat."-
Monday, August 12, 2013
Shopping for things no man wants to buy.
There are many things in life that are unavoidable. Death, taxes, and if you're a married man, buying feminine hygiene products. That's right guys; sooner or later you're going to be sent to the store to buy pads.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Top 10 signs that you may be working in the wrong position
My apologies for this re-post. The blogger app for android leaves a lot to be desired and unposted this entry.
I think that we've fairly well established by now that I'm working in the wrong job. That's fine for me, since I'm studying towards certifications for a better job, and generally working hard at improving my life. So far that's all going according to plan, and there have been some interesting developments in other areas that will have to wait a little bit before they hit the blogosphere.
I've talked a good deal about what to do when you find yourself in the wrong job, but after a conversation I had with a coworker recently, I thought I'd share a few thoughts on just exactly how to tell when you're in the wrong job.
Co-Worker: Wow, Stephen, I need to get the !#$( out of here. I can't believe you can fit this many stupid people in one building.
That was the opening comment from a coworker last week. It was the end of her shift, and she'd simply had the same experiences at work one time too many. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a solid indication that you're not only working in the wrong job for you, but that you've also been working there way too long.
She went on to rant (I do love a good soap box) about the attitudes of her subordinates, guests and employees asking stupid questions, lazy people, and the fact that she had finally come to realize that while she kind of likes her job, she hates her employees and the need to babysit them so much she's afraid she'll lose her mind if she stays here much longer. I suggested a few books for her that were written by better authors than me, and we'll see how long it takes her to quit.
Folks, don't let a bad job go that far. Take it from me and my first hand experience; not loving your job but being stuck in it for the next 6-12 months while you shift directions towards something better, Absolutely Sucks™. Now she's right in the same spot that I am. She can't just up and quit, because if you're even sort of a Grown Up™, then you know you can't just walk out on your job unless you've got another one lined up, or there's something going on that violates your values or puts you in danger.
With that in mind, allow me to share a list of early warning signs that you need to quit your job. Think of this like one of Jeff Foxeworthy's, "You might be a redneck if..." lists, but for people in the wrong career.
You might need to find a new job if....
I've talked a good deal about what to do when you find yourself in the wrong job, but after a conversation I had with a coworker recently, I thought I'd share a few thoughts on just exactly how to tell when you're in the wrong job.
Co-Worker: Wow, Stephen, I need to get the !#$( out of here. I can't believe you can fit this many stupid people in one building.
That was the opening comment from a coworker last week. It was the end of her shift, and she'd simply had the same experiences at work one time too many. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a solid indication that you're not only working in the wrong job for you, but that you've also been working there way too long.
She went on to rant (I do love a good soap box) about the attitudes of her subordinates, guests and employees asking stupid questions, lazy people, and the fact that she had finally come to realize that while she kind of likes her job, she hates her employees and the need to babysit them so much she's afraid she'll lose her mind if she stays here much longer. I suggested a few books for her that were written by better authors than me, and we'll see how long it takes her to quit.
Folks, don't let a bad job go that far. Take it from me and my first hand experience; not loving your job but being stuck in it for the next 6-12 months while you shift directions towards something better, Absolutely Sucks™. Now she's right in the same spot that I am. She can't just up and quit, because if you're even sort of a Grown Up™, then you know you can't just walk out on your job unless you've got another one lined up, or there's something going on that violates your values or puts you in danger.
With that in mind, allow me to share a list of early warning signs that you need to quit your job. Think of this like one of Jeff Foxeworthy's, "You might be a redneck if..." lists, but for people in the wrong career.
You might need to find a new job if....
- You regularly think, "Oh God, it's Monday," and/or, "Thank God it's Friday.
- You've called in with a bad case of, "I'm not working today."
- You've ever done a salary comparison between your current job and Panda Express.
- When a coworker comes to tell you they've been fired, the first word out of your mouth is, "Congratulations!"
- The end of the week office trip to the bar starts on Thursday at lunchtime because nobody can actually make it five days.
- You've become convinced that many of your coworkers and/or employees who all seemed fine a year ago, have been replaced with mentally challenged, adolescent, space aliens wearing foam rubber people-suits.
- Your Vice President of Human Resources has taken down the traditional motivation posters in his/her office and replaced them with these.
- You regularly miss, "the good old days when I worked in fast food."
- You've stopped crying at the sight of your tiny paycheck, but it hasn't gotten any bigger.
- You've started a blog about how much your job sucks, and all the things you're doing to find a better one.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Bad habbits
I started smoking cigars when I was 15 years old.
Mostly macanudos, but the occasional natural as well. When I was 19 or so, I also started smoking pipe tobacco (apparently, at 5'5" and overweight I didn't look enough like a hobbit) The funny part was that the first time I was ever carded I was 23 years old....
Mostly macanudos, but the occasional natural as well. When I was 19 or so, I also started smoking pipe tobacco (apparently, at 5'5" and overweight I didn't look enough like a hobbit) The funny part was that the first time I was ever carded I was 23 years old....
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