Monday, October 7, 2013

Things you can buy for $183.

I spent some time this evening taking practice tests for my first A+ certification exam, and I think it's time to schedule the first of two exams.  The exam vouchers run $183, and like most things in life, there's no guarantee.  I'm feeling pretty confident, but there's always the possibility that I've miss-judged, in which case I'm out $183.

In honor of the $183 I'll be parting with soon, I thought today would be a great day to look at a few of the other things a guy could get for $183.

(Side note to all friends and family members: This is not a birthday/Christmas list)

  • A new video card.
  • A box of 10 Don Carlos Robusto cigars
  • 75 cups of espresso
  • Dinner for 25 at Burger King
  • An iPod nano, and still have $33 left to try and replace my soul
  • Another tattoo, but not much left over to tip the artist
  • The world's worst toupee
  • Two $50 lap dances, plus $83 for pillows and blankets to make the couch I'd be sleeping on into a tollerably comfortable bed
  • A short lived and pointless shopping spree to thinkgeek, Sharper Image, Brookstone, or Hammacher Schlemmer
  • Dinner for 10 at a decent Chinese restaurant including a good tip
  • 10-20 Sea-Monkey kits; also known as "enough brine shrimp muscle to take over the world"
  • Of course, if I wanted to take over the world, why go with Sea-Monkeys when you can buy Uranium on Amazon?
  • Speaking of Amazon, I could pick up a couple of these bad boys and never have to worry about a Cartman-style probe again.  One for home, one for the car, and I'd always know when one of those sneaky aliens was near by
  • A speeding ticket
  • Dinner for 3 at the most expensive restaurant I've ever eaten at
  • I could walk past my wife's car.  Seriously folks, just walking past it.  That car either loves me and wants me to be close to it all the time, or it hates me and wants to watch me suffer up close. There is no third option here
There you have it folks, exam 1 of 2 for the Comptia A+ certification, or enough brine shrimp and uranium to create my own radioactive mutant brine shrimp army.

Forget about certifications, Pinky.  Tonight, we try to take over the world!